The 5th Ether Rifles of the Martian Colonial Army
The 5th Ether Rifles. A History. Long ago in the Two Thousand and Seven, the 5th Ether Rifles was founded by Order 1277 of Queen Victoria II Augusta, Queen of England, Scotland, Some Parts of France, Empress of India and of Mars, and Damned Fine Lady of the Venusian Colonies, in order to combat the growing threat by certain pirate groups, native Martian upstarts, the fearsome General Eusebian von Gempf, and any other foes that might threaten to rain on the beautiful garden party that was life in domains on/near Mars and in the culturally bereft pits of northern Indiana. Answering the call of the Queen whose picture he had spent countless hours admiring in the confines of his rather nice hillside hermitage, Viraumus Sabena raised the regiment in record time, calling into its service everyone he could reach in the course of a few afternoons over tea and sometimes convincing others after a few more potent brews. Technically the heir to a number of estates in the Colonies, Viraumus drew on his reasonable funds to equip the regiment that would become the 5th Ether Rifles. While serving in the First Theoretical Cavalry Regiment (composed solely of theoreticians and a few people who just liked the uniforms), Viraumus had acquired some considerable skill in actually avoiding any sort of leadership position. This skill failed him as he raised the 5th ER, and after about two minutes of grunts and shrugs, he was acclaimed the leader said unit. Hat at a jaunty angle and mildly reliable people surrounding him, Viraumus Sabena led the 5th eastward to deal with its first actual engagement in Somerset, New Jersey. Dressed in outfits that would have impressed many of the tin-pot dictators they thought to supplant through force of arms and the simple fact of being prettier than the dictators, the 5th strolled leisurely to a treaty meeting with a group of airship pirates, who, respecting the authority of Victoria II Augusta, accepted some patches from the 5th ER that marked them as friends of the Martian Colonial Army and similar royal arms of service that roamed through the ether enforcing law. Letters of Marque in hand, the airship pirates vanished whilst singing their songs of the ether. Satisfied that they had accomplished part of their overall mission in very little time, the 5th set out to get better uniforms. And eventually, they found some rather nice ones and even began recruiting a few more people who seemed to be up for a good time and tour or thirty seven around the Ether. During this recruitment, several regimental throat-singers were also added to the rolls of the 5th, and they remain, yurts and all, part of said regiment to this day, having once had the honor of performing for the Exarch of Lester just prior to the 5th’s quite accidental bombing of his Danish estates. Copenhagen has yet to be rebuilt, but the regiment now knows exactly what the large red buttons on the gyrocopter are, and why they should probably be left alone for the time being. The 5th, at present, is planning an expedition to the northern metropolis of Dearborn in search of more fine men and women to fill its ranks.